birthday’s are a fundamental part of each year that teenagers look forward to. yesterday I turned 19. In the past my birthday’s have been wonderful, surrounded by my friends and usually during theater week for nutcracker. this year I had finals. I was home alone all day and I went to bed at 9, my family wasn’t even home. I should expect this by now, but every time this happens I wonder why. I am mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. I am so happy today was my last day of school and now a month off. My plans for this break is to honestly enjoy it. Do something everyday that I will enjoy doing.
On another note, my dancing. I have been on pointe for a two months now, but I am so behind. There is honestly no way I’ll be ready by auditions. I have a doctors appointment and I’m very nervous about it. He told me I should be farther along. But now I just have to figure out what I’m doing next year. There is no way I can go to dance and school at the same time, it’s too difficult.
For the past three months I’ve been in a lot of pain, and it’s not because of my feet. I’ve been having horrible stomach pains. It’s not from pooping either. If I go to the bathroom I still have stomach pains. the pains are extrutiating, I can’t sleep or eat. I just told my mom I was having pains and she said she thinks I have an obstructed colon. which is apparently not good.
I miss having friends who are physically in front of me. I have one friend here who is pretty nice, but it’s not the same as having a friend who is down the hall from you or in the bunk bed next to you. I’m not depressed, more like I honestly feel in a fog. I’m just shuffling along.
So In conclusion I had a sucky birthday